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Joke of the Day
"If con is the opposite of pro... ... then congress is the opposite of progress."
Next Joke
"My friends asked me what I liked about Switzerland Well the flags a big plus."
"How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits."
"4 is currently using scissors to whittle down a pencil. This will be a valuable skill if she ever goes to prison and needs to make a shank."
"How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes? You've had whey too much!"
"Look, woman, I'll do laundry when I'm out of clean clothes. *puts on skirt* I didn't say whose clothes."
"What's the worst thing you can call a black person?.. Hint: starts with an N and ends with an R Neighbor"
"OMG!! Lady Diana was on the radio yesterday!! Well, technically she was also on the steering wheel, the cupholder, a small splatter of her on the dashboard.."
"What did the flower say to the bicycle? Petal."
"What the difference between a calender and you.... a calendar has dates."