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Joke of the Day

"Why'd the cookie go to the hospital? It was feeling a little crumby."

"If a man is alone in the forest and nobody is around to hear him, Is he still wrong?"

"Did you know that 50% of the Chinese have cataracts? The rest drive rincolns."

"""Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime."" ""Was it something I said?"" Asks the son. ""Yes."""

"I think that this entire Jared thing will just end up resulting in a teeny jail sentence."

"Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet? In bent-toe boxes."

"There was a documentary on TV about the world's smallest car. I couldn't get into it."

"[2nd time at girls house] ""where's your dog?"" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] ""Its work. I gotta go"""

"Why do people get suspicious when a baby doesn't like you? It's not psychic. It's a stupid baby with shitty taste in people."

"My mother said that I looked ""cheap"" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off."