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Joke of the Day

"Sorry Amanda. There will be no second date. First off, the plural of shrimp IS shrimp. Not shrimps. Also it's pronounced sammon, not sallman"

"Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend."

"A Teacher asked for the chemical formula for water Teacher: Alright so what is the chemical formula for water? Me: HIJKLMNO Teacher: What are you even saying?! Me: You told us it was H to O!"

"Rick Astley will loan you any movie in his Pixar collection except for one... He's never going to give you Up"

"Fun Game: 1. Glue dark sunglasses to all pigeons in a park. 2. Poke stranger on the shoulder. 3. Whisper, ""I think we're being watched..."""

"Hitler did nothing wrong ...... with his art, in my opinion."

"I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""Through a window"" is not the correct answer! thanks user/TheLuckyBarkeep"

"What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes!"

"How long does it take an Ethiopian Women to take a shit? 9 Months."

"Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it."