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Joke of the Day

"Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops."

"What do you call a scary pterodactyl A terroradactyl"

"I love Christmas lights! ... they remind me of politicians. They all hang together, half the buggers don't work, and the ones that do aren't that bright!"

"PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks."

"What Do You Call A Bad Mexican Restaurant? Shitpotle"

"I just successfully robbed a bank! Now what to do with all this sperm..."

"I did a poll on the percentage of EE student that have sex in their life, 2/50 say they have sex. 2 people lied. (its true, they told me after I ask who they have sex with)"

"What is the most honest vegetable? Beetruet"

"firemen keep harvesting my cat tree"

"FB lets you write your sex in now, so I have officially become a hat."