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Joke of the Day

"PRO TIP: If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks."

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"What country can't be hacked? Madagascar, because all their ports are closed."
"A neckbeard is talking to his friend about his trip to the doctor. He said they found a tumor, it's... M'lignant"
"""Honey the baby is crowning!"" *Lifts up hospital gown* ""Well excuse me YOUR MAJESTY!"""
"My chess board grew a tumor Thankfully it's B-9"
"Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out? I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them."
"I love how they put Mexican translations on condom wrappers Like they use condoms anyway"
"My wife is like a drug to me She ruined my life."
"STOP TEXTING ME. IF I EVER PLANNED ON TALKING TO YOU AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE BORROWED ALL THAT MONEY."
"I showed my son a floppy disk today... ...he said: 'oh cool, you 3D-printed a save icon'"
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