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Joke of the Day

"firemen keep harvesting my cat tree"

"Have you heard about that new program that only the living can watch? You'd have to be dead to miss it!"

"I like my women like I like my coffee ground up and in the freezer."

"Computer nerd dirty talk I'm going to stick my D: disk into your V: drive."

"You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning."

"Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall"

"What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company? One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors."

"Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because Somalia doesn't have an education system"

"I remember when I was a kid... ... I was only about 10 years old and my grandmother took me out for a wonderful seafood meal. I'll never forget it. A great mussell memory."

"Q: What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? A: One requires tweetment, the other requires oinkment."