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Joke of the Day

"I did a poll on the percentage of EE student that have sex in their life, 2/50 say they have sex. 2 people lied. (its true, they told me after I ask who they have sex with)"

"Half my family is Catholic, the other half Jewish, so when the tweet contest theme is ""guilt"" I pretty much have it in the bag."

"I'm so happy Leonardo finally got an award, he was such a brilliant inventor and painter."

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"I like my women like I like my coffee...... Ground up and in the freezer"

"What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, pick any cod."

"Today I officially hit the ""I guess these shrank in the dryer"" phase of my weight gain denial."

"It's amazing how much us guys complain about women and then we fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth."

"What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common? They both love to crack open a cold one."

"Apparently, Emma Watson is to star in the movie adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. If this turns out to be true, by the end of that movie my peni$ will be fifty shades of purple."