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Joke of the Day

"I did a poll on the percentage of EE student that have sex in their life, 2/50 say they have sex. 2 people lied. (its true, they told me after I ask who they have sex with)"

"What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of ""Peter Pan""? Slow Children At Play"

"My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, ""welcome to idiom club"". Now, let's cut to the chase."

"I played a blank CD at full blast yesterday ...the mimes next door went nuts."

"People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys.. Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints.."

"I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational..."

"When my wife pisses me off, I get on her Pinterest and pin lots of mediocre shit, like cupcakes that just look like cupcakes."

"Why did the pregnant Chinese chicken cross the road? Because ah, the egg roll."

"If H2O is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P"

"I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, ""Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?"" I said, ""Yes, she's nearly 2 now."""