36422

Joke of the Day

"How did Jesus feel after the last supper? A bit cross."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy."

"I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard. ^Someone ^please ^slap ^me. ^EDIT: ^Even ^better, ^this ^was ^a ^shower ^thought ^too..."

"Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped? Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!"

"Stranger danger is a very real thing. They nearly always react badly to proposals."

"I want to put a 'Honk If You Love Jesus' bumpersticker on a goose"

"Using Twitter for business is like buying ad space over a urinal."

"As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK."

"me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?"

"Whats 6'2"" and doesnt work? My moms van, its been sitting on blocks all summer you racist bastard."