71716

Joke of the Day

"I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard. ^Someone ^please ^slap ^me. ^EDIT: ^Even ^better, ^this ^was ^a ^shower ^thought ^too..."

"Your search - Bruno Mars not wearing a stupid hat - did not match any documents. Did you mean: Bruno Mars wearing a stupid hat."

"""Dad, why couldn't the doctors save grandpa's life? ""Doesn't matter son, he would have suffocated in the coffin"""

"How do you know the bartender didn't appreciate your drunken pass at her She's stirring your bloody mary with a string."

"What's the difference between a decrepit Greyhound station and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean."

"Why are gay guys bad at jenga? They don't worry about pulling out"

"How do you lure an English bear from his cave with the help of French cheese Camembert (Come-on-bear)"

"What if Stephen Hawking Is the real Slim Shady but he can't stand up"

"I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Banjo Barbie ...complete with straw hat and Earl Scruggs cassette"