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Joke of the Day

"I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard. ^Someone ^please ^slap ^me. ^EDIT: ^Even ^better, ^this ^was ^a ^shower ^thought ^too..."

"How did Djengis Khan found Mongolia? One steppe at a time."

"I was asked on a biology test ""what is most commonly found in cells"" Black people was the wrong answer..."

"I've just done the pilot of a new porn series about promiscuous airline staff."

"A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, ""What's this fly doing in my soup?"" The waiter responds, ""The backstroke."""

"So I got a piece of ass this morning... my finger slipped through the paper."

"Don't you hate it when you put a freshly baked pie on the windowsill to cool and a cartoon character steals it?"

"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"

"If there's a god-shaped hole in all of us does that mean our poos come out in god's image?"

"Guys, you should really try removing the key above enter on your keyboard. Trust me, you'll never go back"