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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy."

"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" ""4 years sober..."""

"Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car"

"if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a ...? no?"

"Why did the gynecologist get taken in for questioning? He smelled a little fishy. Edit: a word."

"I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit."

"God gives everyone a hot cousin to test us."

"Thoughts on ""The Hunt for Red October""? oops, wrong sub."

"DJ Khaled has just declined a role in his upcoming biopic. When asked about his decision, he was quoted to have said ""never play yourself."""

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture."