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Joke of the Day

"Woohoo! Donald Trump won the presidential election! As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican"

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in!"

"There's no ""i"" in ""team"" but there are like millions of other words with ""i"" in them so what's the big deal about ""team"" anyway?"

"What do you call a microscope that when you look through it you see really bad things? A horoscope."

"Hey I bet you guys can't guess what the Titanic's least favorite kind of lettuce is"

"So I checked into a nihilist hotel, and asked for turndown service. The clerk at the reception looked at me wearily and responded: ""Turndown? What for?"""

"A fruit truck just crashed on the highway It caused a major traffic jam."

"Let's walk barefoot on grass! -People who have never walked a dog"

"You can't go by good looks as not everything is as it seems. Remember The Trojan Horse, Snow White's apple and your ex."

"Can I play Piano? A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? B: Yes, of course. A: Great! I never could before!"