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Joke of the Day
"Let's walk barefoot on grass! -People who have never walked a dog"
Next Joke
"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."
"Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised."
"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their balls? So they don't have hairballs!"
"How do locomotives know where they're going? Lots of training."
"Good marriage requires communication: My wife tells me I'm wrong, and I tell her she's right."
"A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop..... ... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits."
"Goals: 0) Start indexing at zero"
"Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda? The Czech engine light is always on."
"Mark Wahlberg has requested a pardon for a crime he committed in 1988. His debut single."