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Joke of the Day

"As a German, you know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. My engineering is perfect."

"When I retire I plan to study oceanography. (I'll eat like a shark, drink like a fish and lay on the beach like a whale)"

"What's Sarah Palin's favorite thing to do in the summertime? Parah Salin."

"Donald Trump Has Written a Few Books About Business... But they all end at Chapter 11."

"Keen silence from a dinner guest as she looks across the living room and realizes I made her bridesmaid dress into a dog bed."

"What do you call a small wardrobe? A battledrobe."

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face."

"Boko Haram Has Really CHANGED. I used to like these guys a lot. ""Whiter Shade of Pale"" was a great, great song. Look at them now. What happened with them? They sure made a wrong turn, somewhere!"

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis, tiny little knotziz"

"Everyone has that one best friend who's now a.... **Stranger!**"