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Joke of the Day

"Everyone has that one best friend who's now a.... **Stranger!**"

"If Twitter icons have taught me anything it's that the male eye can spot cleavage at incredibly low resolutions."

"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+S"

"Am I too fat? Wife: I too fat to be a personal trainer? Me: No honey you just need to lose weight."

"My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :("

"You know what they say about non sequiturs... I LOVE pineapple upside down cake! (I just made this up today, and I'm so proud. I told my coworkers, but they told me to stop doing drugs.)"

"What makes an ISIS joke funny? The Execution"

"*puts on shirt* *notices shirt has OBVIOUS stain* *takes off shirt* *hangs back up for future attempt at wearing shirt*"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amelia ! Amelia who ? Amelia a package last week - did you get it ? !"

"Joke from my grandpa I once met a girl who had a boob on her back. She wasn't much to look at, but she sure was fun to dance with!"