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Joke of the Day

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."

"A man was recently arrested For having sex with a van. You can say he's... vansexual."

"I just found a great new way to check email, Facebook, Twitter, chat with friends and buy stuff on eBay, all from one spot. I got a job."

"[at wine tasting] Hmm yes, very good. a slight smokey undertone. ""Sir, you just put your cigarette in your wine"" Strong smokey undertone"

"I still can't believe it when someone in the bathroom stall next to me is talking on the phone I mean, who TALKS on the phone"

"2 condoms are walking down the street and pass a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""Hey, you wanna go get shit faced?"""

"Roses are red... Harambes in heaven, George Bush had advanced knowledge of 9/11."

"Quote of the day! ""When shits about to hit the fan... I turn the fan off"" -Pfaff"

"Ghana has eliminated the U.S. from last two World Cups... They're probably Ghana do it again."

"What's the speed limit of sex? 68, because if you go 69 you'll flip over and eat it."