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Joke of the Day

"I wish the guy who made the vacuum cord would chat with the guys that make phone chargers."

"If twitter users are sued, lawyers will have to analyse over 4 giggs of data. Imogen that..."

"Why did Europe start the first World War? They did't like being sans-Ferdinand."

"I'm going to grab 'em by the pussy. Don't downvote me!! I'm being ""presidential"""

"What is a pedophile's favorite type of shoes? White Vans"

"What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing."

"I woke up with a horrible hangover today... I could have sworn she was beautiful last night."

"I had a Muslim kid in my high school and he was notorious for being late So we called him 9/12"

"My wife is a big Tennis fan and was telling me how distracting she finds the constant grunting noises during the women's matches. I have promised her I will stop."

"[Shipwrecked diary] Day 1: I found a pen, and a notebook to write in. More pens. I might be in a Staples. Printer paper. I'm in a Staples."