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Joke of the Day

"My wife is a big Tennis fan and was telling me how distracting she finds the constant grunting noises during the women's matches. I have promised her I will stop."

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"Why are vacuum cleaners made by gays the best? Because they really suck."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? For fowl reasons."
"Legend say, Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice... Donald Trump tried to count to 10 and got stuck in a paper bag."
"What steps should you take if you see a dangerous animal on your travels? Very large ones."
"When it comes to making jokes about heart palpitations I never skip a beat"
"Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets? Because he was on a higher plane."
"My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent."
"Q: What's blue and smells like red paint? A: Blue paint."
"What is the name of an Irish girl who hangs out on your lawn? Patti O'Furniture"