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Joke of the Day
"Only dead fish go with the flow."
Next Joke
"A wizard walks into a gay bar ... and disappeared with a poof"
"There is a 'you can kill them if you catch them within a minute' rule on people who wake you up. EVERYONE knows that. *sharpening knife*"
"Q: What do you call a tree from Tulsa? A: An oakie."
"Being politically correct sucks. I can't even say ""black paint"" anymore. Now I have to say, ""hey Jamal would you please go paint that fence over there?"""
"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
"Always get double toppings on take out pizza so you can eat one of the toppings off as an appetizer during your drive home."
"Have you heard of the hypochondriac who had issues with his bowels? He was always full of shit"
"GF looking at lines in carpet: Aww, you vacuumed for me? Me: *flashback to me rollerblading in the living room* Sure did, babe."
"Even a broken clock is right twice a day, unless it lives with a woman"