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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard of the hypochondriac who had issues with his bowels? He was always full of shit"
Next Joke
"A quick Mel Gibson joke. If Mel Gibson directed a popular 90's show starring Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt: ""Mad about Jew"""
"Babe, does this mole look suspicious to you? *Points at mole wearing sunglasses and a raincoat*"
"I just started my career as a shy rapist. It's touch and go."
"Can't wait for it to get dark earlier so I can pick my nose in traffic."
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year."
"""Hi, I'm calling for info on your bicycle on Craigslist."" It's heavy, brown, has new shoes, and loves carrots. It's definitely not a horse."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of half a pizza thinking it's been long enough since I ate the 1st half to consider this a different meal"
"""Ahmed, you're parking too far away from the sidewalk."" ""Who cares, its gonna explode anyways."""
"When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts."