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Joke of the Day

"I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops."

"My ex is like Hurricane Katrina... She fucked New Orleans too."

"My girlfriend and I use ""laundry"" as a code-word for sex. Her dad asked me why I couldn't do the laundry by myself so I told him ""it's a big load""."

"""Mom, I found out I had colon cancer today."" ""REALLY? What are the symptoms??"" ""Why do I always have to start a list..."""

"What happens when a muppet gives you a blowjob? A handjob"

"How do you get an anorexic chick in bed? Well, it ain't a piece of cake."

"I got called ""vein"" and I'm just like, k not the most vital component of the circulatory system but still essential so thank you"

"Why do Hutus hate Dustin Hoffman? He impersonated a Tootsie."

"What does Hillary Clinton have in common with a factory-grown chicken? They're both getting beaten by the name of Sanders."

"There was a social anxiety convention No one showed up."