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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th? *Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*"

Next Joke
 
"Yesterday my doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why is that, doc?"" He replied, ""I'm trying to examine you."""
"If I had a repost for every repost I saw on r/reposts... I'd have a lot of reposts"
"I don't understand chinese philosophy. It Confucius me."
"How do you know you've been making too many jokes? When the wordplay becomes wordwork."
"Confucius Say Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time"
"What is the most popular vehicle in South America? They drive alpacars."
"What do Bernie Sanders and Santa Claus have in common? (Dark) They both have difficulties regarding chimneys!"
"What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear? SPEEEED!"
"I call my husband current... He likes it better than number two."