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Joke of the Day

"Ten Ways To Tell If Your Kitchen Is Haunted: 1.) Flying forks 2.) Pre-fried eggs 3.) Fridge moaning/wailing 4-10.) Ghosts"

"Remember when phones were fat and people were thin"

"Was Einstein's theory good? Relatively."

"A Church threw a Celibacy Party. Nobody came."

"""LOL what if our packaging was totally easy to tear open...unless you had a cut finger?"" --Band-Aid makers, seriously, f those guys"

"My grandpa says he hates gay men I think he's just bitter about his last boyfriend"

"Accidentally went to Rouge One instead of Rogue One. Boy is my face red."

"I heard my lawnmower was going on a rampage... It was going on a *grass*acre [Grass acre, grass massacre](#spoiler)"

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."

"""Release the Kraken!"" ... ""Well?"" ""We released him. He just took off. It's not like he was trained or anything."" ... ""Release the tuna!"""