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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production? Role tied."

"What do you get if you push a piano out of a plane over a military base? A flat major"

"Why does an Ethiopian baby cry? He's having a midlife crisis."

"What do you call a sarcastic mountain chain? The Kappalachians."

"""Did you sign the nondisclosure agreement?"" ""To not disclose what?"" ""Then you DID sign the agreement! """

"How many feminist does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. 1 to screw it in, and one to suck my cock."

"Doc : Do you know what blood type you are? Me : Red?"

"A Butt walks in to a bar. . . The bartender asks, ""What'll ya have?"" and the Butt says ""Pfffbbtbtbt"" Then the bartender turns to his friend and says, ""What an ass."""

"That awkward moment you run into someone in public that you know, and there is nowhere to hide."

"if a bee sting u, u get a lil pain but the bee dies so who really wins? ""lol im OWNING all these bees"" i say as i put my face in the beehive"