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Joke of the Day

"What does a Gynecologist and Pizza Delivery guy have in common? Both get to smell the goods but neither get to eat it. (A straight rip from /r/funny with my apologies)"

"DUI checkpoint cop: sir, have u been drinking tonight me: define sir"

"What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat? Her miscarriage."

"What's red and has seven dents in it? Snow Whites cherry."

"""One of the great mysteries to me is the fact that a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, rip the hair out by the roots, and still be afraid of a spider."""

"What do you do when you see a bloody Mexican in your garbage can? Quit laughing, and reload."

"What's the best way to cross the border? In the trunk of a car."

"What's the best month for dating? Sep-tinder!"

"Whoever said, ""there's no place like home for the holidays"" clearly hasn't been to my house."

"I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed."