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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to cross the border? In the trunk of a car."

"Olympic Rowing ...literally is taking place in sewage."

"It's the cheese police, you're under arrest. Looks like you've been keeping all your cheddar... In a Swiss bank account."

"What's the difference between a 3 figure and a 4-figure suit? 1 figure, literally and figuratively."

"My favorite Jesus is the one who gives musicians MTV Video Music Awards. My second favorite Jesus is my landscaper."

"There are two types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower and dirty feckin liars!"

"I was going to try and convert my friend to nihilism. But I decided it would be pointless."

"judas: honestly jesus is the coolest dude ever i hope he lives forever jesus: worst movie ive ever seen? Space Jam judas: yo what the f"

"Contrary to popular belief, you actually CAN drink lava but only once"

"Why are pirates always angry when they go to the restroom? Because they p-irate."