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Joke of the Day

"I'm giving up on the argument... From now on I will pronounce it 'gif'."

"Ways to get me naked: 1. Be hot 2. Be funny 3. Be alcohol 4. Pretend to be my gynecologist"

"I was never a big believer in feng shui, UNTIL I took the urinal off my livingroom wall. It's like freaking magic!"

"T H E K I _ _ _ P P E R Taking a DNA sample from the kidnapper."

"You know the punchline before you're ever told the joke. What's the worst part about time traveling jokes?"

"do you have a girlfriend dude? Friend: yeah dude! Me: where is she from? Friend: from a different nation. Me: oh really? Which country? Friend: from imagiNATION."

"You know what I love about being bipolar? NOTHING I FUCKING HATE IT!"

"i'm supposed to train the intern to do what i do every day, but i'm not sure how comfortable i am giving him my twitter & facebook passwords"

"What is the type of conference that brings together knights and mathematicians? A *sir-conference*"

"I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis"