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Joke of the Day

"Ways to get me naked: 1. Be hot 2. Be funny 3. Be alcohol 4. Pretend to be my gynecologist"

"How do you make a blind man mad? Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers."

"Teachers of the modern era who still expect hard copies of assignments can't bitch when I turn in a margarita-soaked paper."

"[date] W: I'm really into astronomy. M: Oh! What's your sign? W: The one that knows the difference between science & superstitious idiocy."

"Every frozen yogurt store feels like you're hanging out inside a Japanese girl's backpack."

"What's the only thing a feminist is going to change? The Laundry"

"People love making jokes about camouflage but I just don't see the humor."

"The U.K. Summarized in two sentences. ""No Scotland, you cannot leave the UK."" ""Hey Scotland, let's leave the EU."""

"After 15 years, I finally met my dad. He's a pharmacist."

"What's a Mad Cow's favorite rap song? MOO! Bitch, get out the way... Get out the way... Get out the way."