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Joke of the Day

"""Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy"" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL"

"I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship."

"HARRY POTTER: Alohamora MORA: Aloha, Harry"

"a kiss makes your day, but anal sex maks your hole weak"

"Girls are like internet domain names All the good ones are taken, so all we are left with are the strange foreign ones that nobody wants."

"The Arabs invented a time machine. It's called Islam. It can take any civilization back to the 7th century."

"[Friday Night] WIFE: Have fun at poker ME {stopping at door}: What did you say? W: Have fun ME: After that W: Uh...at poker- ME: IT'S POKEMON"

"Whichever way you cut it, it's always a piece of cake Title"

"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."

"(NSFW) I heard he's so rich ... he takes a golden shower every morning."