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Joke of the Day

"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."

"I want to die peacefully, like my grandfather Not screaming, like the people in the bus he was driving."

"Him: Can I have a bite of your dessert? Me: I think we should see other people."

"If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day"

"[god on LSD creating Donald Trump What if a car alarm that constantly goes off for no reason were a person?"

"What do you call an Asian flying a plane? A pirate."

"A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it."

"Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt? So they would end up with seasoned veterans."

"Are these potato chips so much healthier b/c they're Baked? My brother is baked all the time, and he's got diabetes."