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Joke of the Day

"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."

"Microsoft just announced they are changing the name of Xbox's Premier Multiplayer Service from Xbox Live to Xbox Dead..."

"For all of you claiming you have over 100 IQ. How can you possibly score over 100%? I am very pleased with my score of 79."

"Trampolines used to be called jumpolines... Then your mom jumped on one!"

"Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff."

"""Mom, I found out I had colon cancer today."" ""REALLY? What are the symptoms??"" ""Why do I always have to start a list..."""

"What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6? Mercedes Benz..."

"I'm putting salt in this mustard and I'm calling it Saline Dijon and you can't stop me"

"Sometimes I feel like a man trapped in a woman's marriage."

"What's the difference between a hammer and a mallet? I don't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."