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Joke of the Day

"[Friday Night] WIFE: Have fun at poker ME {stopping at door}: What did you say? W: Have fun ME: After that W: Uh...at poker- ME: IT'S POKEMON"

"I just pissed like a horse. Not an easy stance, let me tell you."

"Did you hear about the new Indian version of Oliver Twist? ""Please, can I have samosa?"""

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife is dead."

"Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?"

"What does E.T stand for? Because he hasn't got a chair!..... sorry."

"Did you hear the one about the three eggs? Too Bad."

"A beer matt walks into a bar.. Drinks are on me!"

"What brand of car would the Roadrunner be? Jeep Jeep"

"Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham."