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Joke of the Day

"Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want."

"Never bring a toasted sandwich to a senior's gym Or else you're going to have 40 people thinking they're having a stroke."

"Tom Cruise has never starred in a movie where his character description didn't include the word ""hotshot."""

"I'm going to change my name to Benny Fitz...so when people add me on Facebook, it will say;..You are now friends with Benny Fitz."

"In a double blind study researchers found women who drink regularly are more likely to become nuns Proving once and for all that alcohol is habit forming."

"I'll take a girl with a sharp wit. Wits never sag."

"Donald Trump, his publicist, and his ghostwriter walk into a bar... ""So you're alone tonight, Donnie?"""

"Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange."

"Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is."

"What do you call an italian hooker (with part 2) A pastatute Where does a pastatute live? The spaghetto"