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Joke of the Day
"While standing in the queue looking at my phone... I'm online online"
Next Joke
"What's Beethoven doing in his grave? He's decomposing."
"wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us"
"[creation] GOD: You each have a gift WORM: What's mine? G: You...spin silk BEE: How bout me? G: Uh...make honey HIPPO: And me? G: Hm...eat marbles"
"If a tree falls down and only a woman hears it, what the fuck was a tree doing in my kitchen?"
"History Joke What do you call a communist sniper? A Marxman!"
"My retirement plan is to die young and broke."
"My 7 year old son told me ""You're the most beautiful mommy ever!"" I asked him what he did and where's he hiding it."
"What bank do birds open accounts with? The one with the most branches!"
"If your phone gets wet, put it in a bag of rice because maybe an Asian will come by and fix it."