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Joke of the Day

"Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is."

"One day I mixed my girlfriend up with flour and butter then I stirred in some milk and sugar. She's scone now..."

"Gonna hand out job applications to teenage trick-or-treaters who ring my doorbell."

"Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie? White privilege"

"Why is called a Pap Smear? Sounds better than a Cunt Scrape"

"Just so you know, people who don't give a fuck don't talk about how much they don't give a fuck all the fucking time."

"My butt was set on fire while I was out with my girlfriend It was really ember-ass-ing."

"You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go."

"If you're wearing a cowboy outfit... Does that mean you're ranch dressing?"

"How does a pedophile have a threesome without getting caught? By having sex with a pregnant woman."