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Joke of the Day

"What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bag outside the breast cancer ward."

"I used to have a phone with a really good user interface... ...but someone swiped it."

"My girlfriend just dumped me because I she says I talk too much about video games... ...It's a horribl**e** thing to Fallout 4."

"TIFU: I posted my FU in /r/jokes"

"I'm in charge of eight kids tonight. No big deal though I can be really responsib-- I'm in charge of seven kids tonight. No big deal though"

"If I heard Matthew McConaughey only drank water out of a garden hose attached to the side of his house, I'd totally believe it."

"What do fat chicks and brick walls have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans."

"Greg was so hungry he ate a frozen steak. He hadn't really thawed it out."

"During labor the pain is so intense A woman almost feels what a man feels when he has a fever"

"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"