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Joke of the Day

"What's black, smells and has 17 tits? The bin bag outside the breast cancer ward."

"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."

"""Jesus loves you."" A nice gesture in church. A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison."

"No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font."

"""Toothpaste? You made that word up!"" - Steve Bushemi"

"I've just bought a film on DVD about a prisoner that finally gets parole. I've waited years for it to be released."

"I had a 12 inch Italian last night Then I went to Subway"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair. (And yes, I know I'm going to hell)"

"It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye; unless you're Stevie Wonder, then it's just ironic."

"Q: What did the candle say when he was down on his luck? A: I'm at wick's end."