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Joke of the Day

"No, I dont have bad handwriting. I have my own font."

"*calls into work* ""yo boss i'm real sick"" ""you don't sound sick..."" ""ya, just got a new tribal tat & heelys"" ""wow u do sound hella sick"""

"Boss: Everyone is behind schedule and making excuses. Does everybody here think I'm an idiot Me: Don't ask. They swore me to secrecy."

"I hate you more than the guy that raised his hand after the teacher said we could all go early if there are no more questions."

"What do you call someone who only gives back rubs to men? A massage-inist."

"[Eating] Waiter: How's the meal? Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ..."

"I like my men how I like my coffee. Sweet."

"Basic Instinct Star Cast in ""The Carpenters"" Biopic This summer: SHARON IS KAREN"

"What are some funny offensive jokes? Title"

"Trying to make a password Me: beefstew Computer: sorry, password not stroganoff"