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Joke of the Day

"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."

"Have you ever read the serial number on a condom before? No? You have to unroll it 2 more inches!"

"""The Bible"" running on the History Channel is like ""Dragons"" running on Animal Planet."

"The student asked his sensei: ""Why do you fight using only your feet?"" Oh, y'know. For kicks."

"What are your thoughts on new soup technology? I say Progresso at any cost."

"You're so empty inside....nnn....stupid fridge."

"Why don't elephants like penguins? Because they can't get the wrapper off."

"Chopping Onions I walked into the kitchen to see my Dad chopping Onions up. As soon as I saw him, I started crying because Onions is my dog."

"What's so great about having sex while camping? Its fucking in tents!"

"According to the vet, our dog is addicted to masturbation. I hope it doesn't rub off on our children."