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Joke of the Day

"M.C. Escher was born on this day in 1898. Although if you study the timeline of his life, it also looks like he was born in 8681."

"Barista: ""Welcome to Starbucks!"" Me: ""Large coffee please."" B: ""It's venti!"" Me: ""Then close all the windows after you get my large coffee."""

"Boss: ""You're an hour late!"" Guy who is about to invent daylight savings time: ""Haven't you heard?"""

"I'd like to think that my exes see me as ""the one who got away,"" but it's probably more like ""the one who got away from the police."""

"Does anyone know how to change the batteries in a dead kitten? Please help."

"How do you impregnate an African woman? jerk off on her feet then let the flies do the rest."

"Q. How would you write do not touch in Braile? A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)"

"What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store."

"What did the famous musician say the moment he was born? *I'LL BE BACH*"

"Twitter management's favorite part of a book is always Chapter 11"