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Joke of the Day

"A cow walked to the store to buy some milk... but cows don't have hands so they can't use grocery stores or grab milk in a container. It was an udder failure."

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"Why did the sperm cross the road Because I put the wrong sock on this morning"
"What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? One makes your day and one makes your hole weak."
"The five senses are touch, smell, sight, hearing, and..... It's on the tip of my tongue..."
"Why does Dr Pepper... Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died a year ago."
"In memory of Arnold Palmer, I wore my golf underwear today... ...the one's with 18 holes. (Too soon?)"
"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care..."
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat."
"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"
"A man fixes things If a man says he will fix something, he will! There's no need to remind him every six months..."