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Joke of the Day

"A cow walked to the store to buy some milk... but cows don't have hands so they can't use grocery stores or grab milk in a container. It was an udder failure."

Next Joke
 
"For some reason I always cry during sex. I'm starting to think it might be the pepper spray."
"Best Fortune cookie ever: ""Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application."""
"Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf? In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)"
"People you mute should stay in your TL but with a piece of tape over their avatar mouth and their tweets all like ""Mmmp mm mmmph rf mph."""
"They say god dosn't give people things they can't handle. Except cancer."
"Look at me! I'm a morning person! Let's work out! Get worms! Drive garbage trucks! Use exclamation points!"
"What do you Call a Bunch of Horny Teenagers Argueing? A *Mass Debate*"
"I had fruit and yogurt for breakfast. And 6 donuts for second-breakfast."
"BREAKING NEWS: Texas A&M Library burns to ground... Both books were completely destroyed. The worst part is, one of them wasn't even colored in yet."