81248

Joke of the Day

"Look at me! I'm a morning person! Let's work out! Get worms! Drive garbage trucks! Use exclamation points!"

"Did you hear about the haunted burlesque theater? Things went bump and grind in the night."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a six offender."

"Tony Stark's drag queen name. Fe Male."

"What's the smartest thing that ever came out of Einstein's wife's mouth? Einstein's dick."

"Rednecks can't describe large areas as expansive... Listeners will just wonder why they paid so much for it."

"Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater."

"My ex was just diagnosed as a narcissist Good to see I'm not the only one with low standards."

"Why can't you ever trust an atom? Because, they make up everything..."

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."