3511

Joke of the Day

"Be a firefighter they said, Rescue kittens & throw them into fire they said, Youre misinformed they said, We're calling the police they said"

"If they make a new Contra game with the original one as a minigame inside it... Will it be a contraception?"

"What do you call an exam that a Biology major almost failed? Biodegradable."

"What's 9+10? 19 you fucking dumbass"

"just got my nipples pierced! and they gave me a discount because I have so many!"

"Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed? So that it can be used as an *aphrodisiac*"

"*calls Rosetta Stone* Yes hi I was wondering if you had a course on body language *my friend choking on buffalo wings clutches his throat*"

"Andy Murray's been detained by anti-corruption officials at the Davis Cup... Apparently he's been operating a racket for years."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anya ! Anya who ? Anya best behavior !"

"Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly."