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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could explain my fear of needles... they just get under my skin."

"#presidentfacts Barack Obama is the first president in nearly 80 years to choose a water type as his starting Pokemon"

"What's grey and comes in pints? An elephant."

"I was having sex with a 90 year old woman yesterday nsfw She stopped suddenly and shouted Quick call me an ambulance! I said, I'll call you whatever you want you kinky bitch."

"What do you call a young Israeli boy? Jew-nior"

"My phone changed ""you wanna hang"" to ""you wanna bang"" and send........"

"Dear girls, not every guy is in love with you, sometimes they like your prettier friend and need your help."

"What if you're a Gift Horse Dentist?"

"What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast? [OC] I think I'll go on a diet!"

"i put the "":/"" in ""http://""."