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Joke of the Day

"A guy gets the words ""I love you"" tattooed to his dick. He goes home to his wife, and she says, ""Stop trying to put words in my mouth."""

"Top 13 facts you NEVER knew about non-conductors. #7 won't shock you."

"I get it, you have a philosophy degree, but I just want you to make my latte, not wax poetic about life, okay Baristotle? Extra foam please."

"At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot"

"So I was in a race against a Prius the other day. I kept up for the first 100ft but I can only walk so fast..."

"My friend told me that I didn't know the meaning of the word ""ironic""... ...which was ironic, because we were at the train station."

"I have a photographer's memory Or is it photographic? I always forget."

"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, the very next day you told me you're gay...."

"Is it hot in here, or is it just me? - Joan of Arc"

"If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called? OV O's!"