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Joke of the Day

"Putin is really messing with Obama over this Ukraine thing. The last time a Russian beat a black guy this bad Apollo Creed died."

"I asked a poor pirate why he had a seagull on his shoulder instead of a proper parrot. ""Arrrr...it were on sail.'"

"What was the Walrus doing in the Tupperware store? Looking for the tight seal"

"What musical instrument goes with cheese? Picklelo."

"That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology."

"What do you call a popular joke on reddit? repost"

"People reckon I'm too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they're stupid)"

"A man goes to the Doctor for a physical. The doctor says, ""I'm sorry but you are going to need to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" the man asks. The doctor says, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"""As someone who has shown an interest in vacuums,"" the email from Amazon said, unsubscribedly."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because I just might vote for it."