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Joke of the Day

"Don't die a Virgin Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there."

"Sex is a misdemeanor. The more I misdemeanor I get."

"What did the blonde Buddhist say when she finished her 88th prayer? ""I literally chant even..."""

"Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!"

"Q: How do you reuse a condom? A: Turn it inside out, and shake the fuck out of it."

"How do pirates know they exist? They think, therefore they ARRRRRRRR!"

"Just been reading how more people die from choking on sweets' packaging than the sweets themselves. Gums don't kill people, wrappers do."

"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts? Boy Scouts come back from their camps."

"I'm a strict vegetarian. After I kill a cow I don't eat ANY of it."

"What do you do if you get a peanut stuck in your ear ? Pour in a little chocolate and it comes out a treat."