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Joke of the Day

"Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!"

"What's the same about an election and an erection? They're only one letter different, and both are about a dick rising to power."

"Snooker If pink is covered by red, go for the brown."

"I believe in a woman's right to choose, except when it comes to picking what movie we should watch tonight."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. All credit goes to the apples and apples folks."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit Will you get out of my hair!"

"This chick at Walgreens is totally hitting on me. What's your name? What's your address? Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?"

"What's black and eats banana's? Apparently half of London"

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!"

"I'm having trouble finishing my joke about tree surgery! Stick joke here!"