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Joke of the Day

"Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!"

"If you drop a brown bear and a white bear into a lake, which one dissolves first? The white one, because it's **Polar**."

"The Fortune Teller, came true! I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl called Penny - is that spooky or what?"

"Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke."

"Customer: ""It says I've performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?"""

"How did the duck become a junkie? He was addicted to quack."

"I went to a pet shop to buy a goldfish today... The worker asked if I'd like an aquarium, but I told him ""I don't care what starsign it is."""

"Mario and Luigi fight to the death, in ""The Plunger Games""."

"Did you here that Lorena Bobbitt got killed in a car accident? Yeah, some dick cut her off."

"How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb? Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke."