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Joke of the Day

"I'm a strict vegetarian. After I kill a cow I don't eat ANY of it."

"I just did absolutely nothing for this Klondike Bar."

"I don't discriminate based skin colour, I do it based on clothes... In fact you could call me a fashist"

"[doorbell] 4: *opens door Hi, is your mom home? 4: she's in the tower mom: whispers from behind door ""no no no it's SHOWER not tower!"""

"[Command Center] *opens map* *traces route* *marks intercept point* *drives* *waits* *target arrives *tackles* Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?"

"The only thing I've ever made from scratch was dandruff."

"[mob about to stone a sinner] JESUS: Stop! Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. [mob drops rocks] JESUS: [picks up rock]"

"God bless USA And Science. And Muhammad And The Buddhist Gods. everyone is offended these days."

"Why is the beef in Colorado so good? Because the steaks are high."