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Joke of the Day

"Dear whoever is playing sweet child o' mine at 2:30 in the night at full blaring volume to disturb the whole neighborhood......NICE!"

"I started crossfit yesterday And my throat is killing me"

"Teacher With student.. Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"I used to be in a band called ""Frequent Urination"". You might have heard of us. We had several number ones."

"Toy Story (1995): A young boy's toy chest becomes possessed by haunted dolls, forcing the family to move away. But the dolls find him."

"What's the worst vegetable to have on a boat? A leek."

"What do you call it... when an old man cums all over you? Viagra Falls My wife just made up this joke and wondered if she actually made it up or if she is just not remembering where she heard it."

"Wife just texted me drive slow - cop around the corner so I laughed and showed it to the cop."

"What makes the scarecrow so good at his job? He's outstanding in his field"

"Can you at least smile if you're gonna be in the background of my selfie, Doc? (takes off rubber glove) ""You can pull up your pants now."""