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Joke of the Day

"I have a difficult time living in buildings near many neighbors I think I have an apartment complex."

"What's the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes, the other decomposes..."

"The bartender says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"At the sushi restaurant: What kind of eel is this? Diner at the sushi restaurant: ""What kind of eel is this?"" Waiter: ""Do you love it?"" Diner: ""yeah"" Waiter: ""Then, that's a moray"""

"I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably."

"How do you become a millionaire in post-Brexit UK? First, start off with a billion pounds.."

"You can't run from your problems forever. Eventually, you'll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them."

"if a picture's worth a thousand words, the people posting photos on twitter are going over by 860 characters"

"Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel ... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go."

"Where is the best place to hide a body? Buried in the third page of google search results."