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Joke of the Day

"What do pancakes do when they are scared? They crepe themselves ;D"

"How do you keep the Kansas City Chiefs away from your house? Paint a goal line on your driveway."

"If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don't want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim's"

"There's a TV channel where you can buy all the Pope's speeches It's called ""Papal View""."

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!"

"I shot Quiet in the head on MGS5 She's really fucking Quiet now."

"It's a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days."

"How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent? Nun."

"Q: What's blue and smells like red paint? A: Blue paint."

"Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over."