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Joke of the Day

"I organised a 3 some last night. There were a couple of no shows but I still had a good time."

"the 80 year old lady paying w/ exact change and coupons behind me in line is pissed bc the credit card chip reader is taking too long"

"Saw Interstellar over the weekend & was totally glued to my seat. The movie was OK but the getting-glued-to-my-seat thing ruined it for me."

"Can someone help me figure out how much water I need to add to this baby powder in order to make a baby?"

"I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons."

"Theres one thing that you can't say on Reddit: [removed]"

"True intimacy is chatting within a shared Google Doc"

"Keep calm and text a random number...""I'm pregnant"""

"What did the pumpkin pie say to the cheesecake as they were going into the oven? I think this is a set up!"

"Wasn't gay marriage always legal? Because I know that people have been happy on their wedding day."