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Joke of the Day

"Who is Pitbull's favorite nascar driver? Dale Earnhardt jr."

"Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!"

"I woke up hung-over to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He'll have to mow around me. I'm not moving."

"What do you call a group of hot moms in space? THE MILFY WAY!"

"Me to my Boss: Excuse me, sir, can I ask a stupid question. Boss: Better than anyone else I know..."

"Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom? because he wasn't a fungi!"

"[at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first"

"I have standards. I'm looking for a woman that 36-24-36. Age, IQ, Body fat %, that is."

"If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?"

"What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice."